{"id":4748,"date":"2021-12-20T14:21:09","date_gmt":"2021-12-20T12:21:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/existentia.com.hr\/?p=4748"},"modified":"2021-12-21T00:43:04","modified_gmt":"2021-12-20T22:43:04","slug":"nedostupni-muskarci-i-nesretne-zene","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/existentia.com.hr\/hr\/nedostupni-muskarci-i-nesretne-zene\/","title":{"rendered":"Nedostupni mu\u0161karci i nesretne \u017eene: \u0161to u\u010diniti?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Mnogi se parovi sre\u0107u s istim obrascima u mu\u0161ko-\u017eenskim odnosima. O\u010daranost na po\u010detku u heteroseksualnim vezama \u010desto mijenja to\u010dno odre\u0111eni obrazac. Mu\u0161karci su \u010desto nedostupni, neraspolo\u017eeni za razgovore, fokusirani na provo\u0111enje vremena van ku\u0107e ili se zatvaraju u svoje aktivnosti.\u00a0 \u017dene pak imaju pove\u0107anu potrebu za pri\u010danjem ili posve\u0107eno\u0161\u0107u partnera. Zato u takvim partnerstvima \u010desto ostaju nesretne, pa svoje potrebe i \u017eelje zadovoljavaju na drugim mjestima. Mogu ih uta\u017eivati u \u017eenskim prijateljstvima ili tra\u017eiti od svoje djece da ih ispune.<\/p>\n

Ovaj je obrazac \u010desto vidljiv u odnosima oko nas. Njegove izvore mo\u017eemo prona\u0107i u patrijarhalnom odgoju koji je jo\u0161 jak u suvremenom dru\u0161tvu. Da ne bude zabune, ovaj odgoj podjednako utje\u010de i na \u017eene i na mu\u0161karce, iako u suvremenom dru\u0161tvu \u017eene jo\u0161 uvijek pla\u0107aju ve\u0107u cijenu.<\/p>\n

Od \u017eena se u takvom odgoju o\u010dekuje da budu neaktivne, pristojne i pasivne. \u017densko ispoljavanje inicijative nerijetko se do\u017eivljava kao ugroza. \u017dene tako u\u010de da nije u redu pokazivati inicijativu. Od njih se \u010desto o\u010dekuje da tu\u0111e potrebe stave ispred svojih i da vode brigu prvo o tu\u0111im osje\u0107ajima, a tek onda o svojima. Kad je rije\u010d o osje\u0107ajima, tu se \u017eene vide kao glavne i komunikacija je ne\u0161to \u0161to im \u010desto dolazi “prirodno”.<\/p>\n

Od mu\u0161karaca se pak u ovoj konstelaciji tra\u017ei da ubiju emotivne dijelove sebe. Otvoreno pokazivanje emocija \u010desto nije dozvoljeno. Zadovoljavanje vlastitih potreba ne mare\u0107i o tu\u0111ima \u010desto jest. Mu\u0161karcima je, s druge strane, \u010desto zabranjeno pri\u010dati o osje\u0107ajima. Ako pokazuju osje\u0107aje, mogu biti ismijani. Od njih se tra\u017ei da se emotivno osakate. Ako to sami ne u\u010dine, dru\u0161tvo oko njih izrugivanjem ili ismijavanjem natjerat \u0107e ih na to.<\/p>\n

Kasnije u odnosima ova se dinamika mo\u017ee ispoljiti tako da se mu\u0161karac zatvara kad do\u0111e do nesporazuma, dok \u017eena inzistira na pri\u010danju. Mu\u0161karac mo\u017ee reagirati frustracijom, poptunim zatvaranjem ili bje\u017eanjem u vlastite svjetove, dok se \u017eene mogu osje\u0107ati nesretno ili o\u010dajno. Ovi obrasci mogu djelovati pogubno na ljubav.<\/p>\n

Oni su \u010desto sna\u017eni i prenose se intergeneracijski. I ba\u0161 zato jer su stoljetni, zahtijevaju od nas rad na sebi i ja\u010danje vlastite svjesnosti.<\/p>\n

Kako bismo se bolje nosili s ovim obrascima, potrebno je razumjeti vlastite “okida\u010de”. Koji se to “okida\u010d” aktivira kad na\u0161 partner ne \u017eeli razgovarati o osje\u0107ajima? \u0160to tad mo\u017eemo u\u010diniti za sebe? Kako mo\u017eemo iskomunicirati navedeno?<\/p>\n

Za one suprotnih obrazaca, pitanje je koji se to “okida\u010d” aktivira kad na\u0161 partner navaljuje a mi se imamo potrebu odvojiti. \u0160to tad mo\u017eemo u\u010diniti? Kako iskomunicirati navedeno?<\/p>\n

Postoji li mogu\u0107nost da se korakom pribli\u017eimo jedni drugima?<\/p>\n

Skidanje ovih slojeva nije lako. Nedostupni mu\u0161karci i nesretne \u017eene stoljetna su igra obrazaca koji se nalaze duboko u na\u0161oj kulturi. Iako je ovo kulturolo\u0161ki \u010desti obrazac, treba napomenuti da u nekim odnosima on mo\u017ee biti i obratan. Ponekad mo\u017ee i \u017eena biti ta koja se zatvara, a mu\u0161karac taj koji poku\u0161ava komunicirati.<\/p>\n

\"nedostupni<\/a><\/p>\n

U svakom je slu\u010daju potrebno poku\u0161ati razumjeti sebe i drugoga. Razumijevanje sebe otvara nam put prema prostoru koji nam omogu\u0107ava da u\u010dinimo korak manje ili korak vi\u0161e. \u010cini se jednostavnim, no u odnosima su obi\u010dno natalo\u017eeni osje\u0107aji i neispunjena o\u010dekivanja. U takvoj situaciji i taj mali korak mo\u017ee biti izazov. Ipak, svaki korak predstavlja put do iscjeljenja ovih stoljetnih obrazaca.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Mnogi se parovi sre\u0107u s istim obrascima u mu\u0161ko-\u017eenskim odnosima. O\u010daranost na po\u010detku u heteroseksualnim vezama \u010desto mijenja to\u010dno odre\u0111eni […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4759,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[119,8],"tags":[1081,56,1082,1083],"class_list":["post-4748","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-psiholoske-teme","category-sira-promisljanja","tag-nedostupni-muskarci","tag-odnosi","tag-okidaci","tag-okidaci-u-odnosima"],"yoast_head":"\nNedostupni mu\u0161karci i nesretne \u017eene: \u0161to u\u010diniti? 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