{"id":3016,"date":"2018-09-29T06:55:13","date_gmt":"2018-09-29T06:55:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/existentia.com.hr\/?p=3016"},"modified":"2018-10-06T11:30:19","modified_gmt":"2018-10-06T11:30:19","slug":"zasto-je-tesko-mijenjati-se","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/existentia.com.hr\/hr\/zasto-je-tesko-mijenjati-se\/","title":{"rendered":"Za\u0161to je u \u017eivotu te\u0161ko mijenjati se?"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"mijenjati<\/a>
Abby Chung, Pexels<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Kad je avion udario u toranj World Trade Centra, neki zaposlenici oklijevali su iza\u0107i . \u0160to nam je zajedni\u010dko s njima i za\u0161to je i u \u017eivotu te\u0161ko krenuti mijenjati se, zna psihoanaliti\u010dar Stepehn Grosz.<\/p>\n

____________________________________<\/p>\n

“Kad je prvi avion udario u sjeverni toradnj World Trade Centra, Marissa Panigrosso bila je na 98. katu ju\u017enog tornja, pri\u010daju\u0107i sa svoje dvije kolegice. Nije samo \u010dula eksploziju, osjetila ju je. Navala vru\u0107eg zraka udarila ju je u lice, kao da je netko otvorio vrata pe\u0107nice. Val panike zavladao je uredom. Marisa Panigrosso nije dvojila \u010dekaju\u0107i da ugasi ra\u010dunalo ili da zgrabi torbu. Oti\u0161la je prema najbr\u017eem izlazu i iza\u0161la iz zgrade.<\/em><\/p>\n

Dvije kolegice s kojima je pri\u010dala – uklju\u010duju\u0107i i kolegicu s kojom je dijelila odijeljak – nisu iza\u0161le. “Sje\u0107am se da sam iza\u0161la, a da ona jednostavno nije i\u0161la za mnom.” , rekla je Marissa kasnije u intervjuu na American National Public radiju. “Vidjela sam da je na telefonu. I druga \u017eena – isto tako. Bila je dijagonalno preko puta mene i pri\u010dala je na telefon i nije \u017eeljela iza\u0107i.’<\/em><\/p>\n

Ustvari, mnogo ljudi u uredu Marisse Panigrosso ignoriralo je protupo\u017earni alarm, a tako\u0111er i to \u0161to se doga\u0111alo nedaleko od njih u sjevernom tornju. Neki od njih oti\u0161li su na sastanke. Marissina prijateljica, \u017eena imena Tamitha Freeman, \u010dak se i vratila nakon \u0161to je ve\u0107 pro\u0161la nekoliko redova stepenica. Vratila se po slike svoje djece – i tada vi\u0161e nikad nije iza\u0161la.\u00a0 Dvije \u017eene koje su ostale na telefonima i svi ti ljudi koji su oti\u0161li na sastanke, tako\u0111er su izgubili svoje \u017eivote.<\/em><\/p>\n

U uredu Marisse Panigrosso, kao\u00a0i u mnogim drugim uredima u World Trade Centru, ljudi nisu pani\u010darili ili se \u017eurili da iza\u0111u. “To mi se u\u010dinilo vrlo \u010dudnim”, rekla je Marissa, “Pitala sam svoju prijateljicu: ‘Za\u0161to svi samo stoje uokolo?’<\/em><\/p>\n

Stepehn Grosz u svojoj knjizi ka\u017ee nam kako je ono \u0161to se Marissi Panigrosso u\u010dinilo \u010dudnim, zapravo, pravilo. Istra\u017eivanja pokazuju, ka\u017ee on, kako u slu\u010daju protupo\u017earnog alarma ljudi ne reagiraju odmah, ve\u0107 prvo komuniciraju jedni s drugima i stoje uokolo, nastoje\u0107i utvrditi \u0161to se doga\u0111a. Ustvari \u010dekaju jo\u0161 znakova da se ne\u0161to uznemiruju\u0107e doga\u0111a, ka\u017ee Grosz – osjet dima ili savjet od nekog kome vjeruju. No tako\u0111er, ka\u017ee on, postoje dokazi da se i u slu\u010daju vi\u0161e dokaza neki od nas ne\u0107e pomaknuti.<\/p>\n

Grosz navodi primjer iz 1985. godine, kad je izbila vatra na jednom ameri\u010dkom stadionu u Bradfordu. Naknadna analiza televizijskih snimki pokazala je da navija\u010di nisu odmah reagirali, ve\u0107 su nastavili gledati i vatru i utakmicu, ne mi\u010du\u0107i se prema izlazu. Tako\u0111er, upozorava Grosz, istra\u017eivanja pokazuju da i kad se pomaknemo, slijedimo stare navike. Ne vjerujemo izlazima za nu\u017edu. Gotovo uvijek poku\u0161avamo iza\u0107i iz sobe kroz ista vrata kroz koja smo u nju u\u0161li.\u00a0<\/strong>On navodi primjer forenzi\u010dke rekonstrukcije nakon poznate vatre u restoranu u Beverly Hills Supper Clubu u Kentuckyu, koja je potvrdila da su mnoge \u017ertve \u010dekale u redu da plate prije nego \u0161to su oti\u0161le, i tako su umrle u redu.<\/p>\n

Ovo je pitanje klju\u010dno ne samo u terapijskim procesima u kojima radi Grosz, ve\u0107 i u na\u0161im svakodnevnim \u017eivotima. Ovom se temom bavimo \u010desto i na stranici, iako mo\u017eda u drugim oblicima. Primjerice, kada bismo pojednostavnili stvari mogli bismo re\u0107i da se cijela zen duhovna praksa bavi prihva\u0107anjem nestalnosti stvari, toga da ljudi i stvari u \u017eivotu dolaze i odlaze te osloba\u0111anja vezanosti na njih. S druge strane, kao \u0161to zna svaki sociolog, biolog, a prije svega sigurno i psihoanaliti\u010dar, \u010dovjek je bi\u0107e rutine. Iznimno smo vezani za svoje navike i te\u0161ko nam je krenuti mijenjati se, do razine da \u0107emo \u010dak prije napasti nekog tko nam poku\u0161a sugerirati da bismo to mo\u017eda trebali nego \u0161to \u0107emo o tome razmisliti. Do razine da \u0107emo voditi ratove na razini dru\u0161tva samo kako bi stvari ostale takvima kakve su bile kad smo odrastali, kao \u0161to mo\u017eemo vidjeti ako bolje promotrimo trenutna doga\u0111anja u Europi. Stoga je zanimljivo vidjeti perspektivu jednog psihonaliti\u010dara koji godinama radi s ljudima i mo\u017ee rasvjetliti uzroke takvog pona\u0161anja ili nas bar natjerati da promislimo.<\/p>\n

Grosz tako ka\u017ee da ga zapravo, nakon 25 godina psihonanaliti\u010dkog rada, otpor promjeni ne iznena\u0111uje. Ljudi se promjeni opiru na sve mogu\u0107e na\u010dine, i \u010desto je \u010dak i posvetiti se najmanjoj promjeni ljudima mnogo stra\u0161nije nego ignorirati opasnu situaciju. Za\u0161to?\u00a0Stvar je u tome da smo sna\u017eno vjerni na\u0161em vi\u0111enju svijeta, ka\u017ee Grosz – na\u0161oj pri\u010di. \u017delimo znati u koju novu pri\u010du ulazimo prije nego \u0161to iza\u0111emo iz stare. Ne \u017eelimo iza\u0107i ako ne znamo to\u010dno kamo \u0107e nas ona odvesti, \u010dak i u slu\u010daju nu\u017ede,<\/strong> ka\u017ee on, i to je tako bez obzira na to radi li se o klijentu ili psihonaliti\u010daru. Drugim rije\u010dima, ljudi su op\u0107enito skloni ostajanju vjernima poznatoj pri\u010di.<\/p>\n

Grosz ka\u017ee kako se puno puta zatekao kako razmi\u0161lja o Marissi Panigrosso nakon \u0161to je \u010duo njenu pri\u010du. Kako je zami\u0161lja u uredu s velikim prozorima i ra\u010dunalima. S mirisom parfema i kave, a onda – prvim udarcem. Prati je u mislima dok ona izlazi kroz izlaz za nu\u017edu. Vidi njezine kolege kako ostaju. Pitao se mnogo puta, ka\u017ee – \u0161to bi on u\u010dinio? I ja se pitam dok to \u010ditam, \u0161to bih ja? \u0160to biste vi?<\/p>\n

Svi za sebe volimo vjerovati da bismo u takvoj situaciji potr\u010dali prema izlazi. No ne mo\u017eemo biti sigurni. Mo\u017eda bismo stajali uokolo poku\u0161avaju\u0107i doznati jo\u0161 informacija, mo\u017eda bismo se vodili logikom kojom su se vodile Marissine kolegice i \u010dekali jo\u0161 informacija. Mo\u017eda bismo pomislili kako \u0107emo se osje\u0107ati glupo da se vratimo drugi dan i vidimo da su svi ostali samo nastavili raditi, ka\u017ee Grosz.\u00a0 Mo\u017eda bismo slu\u0161ali nekog tko bi nam govorio da je pametno ostati, jer ako je avion udario u sjeverni toranj, pa koje su realno \u0161anse da \u0107e udariti i o ju\u017eni?<\/p>\n

U susretu s promjenom oklijevamo, ka\u017ee Grosz, jer je promjena gubitak. No ako ne prihvatimo neki gubitak – poput Tamithe, gubitak slike svoje djece-\u00a0 mo\u017eemo izgubiti sve.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Stoga, zapitajmo se, ka\u017ee Grosz – gdje nam zvoni alarm? I ako negdje zvoni, stojimo li uokolo i \u010dekamo – i \u0161to to\u010dno?<\/p>\n

Izvor: Stephen Grosz, The Examined Life: How we lose and find ourselves. 2013. Random House Canada: New York, Toronto.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Kad je avion udario u toranj World Trade Centra, neki zaposlenici oklijevali su iza\u0107i . \u0160to nam je zajedni\u010dko s […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[23],"tags":[129,383,75,148,83,382],"class_list":["post-3016","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-osobni-razvoj","tag-kako-pronaci-sebe","tag-mijenjati-se","tag-promjena","tag-promjena-u-zivotu","tag-psihoanaliza","tag-stephen-grosz"],"yoast_head":"\nZa\u0161to je u \u017eivotu te\u0161ko mijenjati se? 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